human interaction, orphan problems, personal

10 Things Estranged Adult Children Are Tired of Hearing

June 23, 2015

orphan survival guide - social media - 10 things estranged adult children are tired of hearing

Following a particularly awkward Father’s Day on social media which culminated in lots of Glee feels and multiple people blocked on Facebook, a lot of acquaintances learned about my relationship with my biological family.

The short version is: we have no relationship.

The longer version will be detailed in a series next week about how to run away from home.

There are a lot of misconceptions about estranged adult children, which means that the second you tell someone you have no contact with your parents, you need to be prepared for awkward questions and nagging–especially from other parents. Other parents are The Worst. They get crazy-defensive because your existence reminds them that they ultimately have no control or power over their own children, and that is terrifying to them.

For the most part, though, you get a lot of uncomfortable silences and pitying glances, because suddenly your Issues are so much more than someone initially assumed. You might even become Inspiration Porn. Then there are the people who think that you’re exaggerating or selfish–or blame you for the estrangement–because family is family

And don’t even think about mentioning it on your dating profile or on a date, because then you’re branded with Daddy Issues.

It’s an uncomfortable and stigma-ridden conversation, and even if you try to turn it into a joke (my family’s sooo crazy!) people will inevitably treat you differently for it. So here are the top 10 things estranged adult children are sick and tired of hearing, courtesy of Burt Hummel, your TV replacement dad:

1. But why?


If I never had to explain my childhood to a judgmental stranger ever again, it would still be too soon. Sometimes I prefer to say my parents are dead so I can avoid this conversation, because even if I do give a reason, it’s usually not good enough because:

2. Maybe you were just a difficult child.


Yeah, or maybe I was just too smart to be manipulated and gaslighted anymore.

3. Okay, so they weren’t perfect. But they can’t be that bad.


Of course, stranger who has never met my family or interacted with me as a child, you would know exactly what qualifies parents as bad enough.

Sit down, let me serve you a hot dish of TMI for the next hour…

4. How would you feel if your child did that to you?


I don’t plan on making the same mistakes my parents did–namely, I’m not having children–but if I had a child that wanted out of my life, I’d think long and hard about why 

Estrangement doesn’t happen overnight, or over a single interaction. It’s a process, with plenty of opportunities for fixing the problem before it escalates to full no-contact.

If my child decides to live a life without me in it, that’s their choice.

5. It’s been so long. Don’t you miss them? Won’t you regret this later?


Why would I regret creating a life and family for myself rather than being tied down to one I don’t want and that never wanted me?

6. But they’re your family.


Being a parent is a choice, and so is being someone’s child. A child is not property. They do not owe you anything.

Family should not be about obligation.

7. Think about their feelings.


During a fight, my biological father told me I was almost aborted. Sooo, I’m basically giving him what he always wanted, right?

8. What will you do when they die?


Probably the same things I’m doing now.

Estranged Adult Child Bonus: I won’t be responsible for my parents’ debt and poor life choices.

9. My parents are crazy too! I wish I could just cut them off!


You can cut off contact with them at any point, if you want. 

If you haven’t already, then they can’t be that bad, amirite?

10. I’m sorry.


Once I’ve made it clear this wasn’t an arbitrary, spur-of-the-moment decision to spite my parents, people go from defensive to pitying.

But I’m not sorry. And I don’t want random strangers to be sorry either.

This experience has made my life more difficult, sure, but staying in contact with my parents would have made it worse. I’m a better, stronger person now than I was ten years ago. There are things in my life that are hard, but overall it’s pretty awesome, and I’m capable of making good decisions for myself. That never would have happened if I lived with the specter of my childhood clouding every facet of my life.

Being parent-free is the right thing for me.


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  • Reply nun yo March 4, 2016 at 2:57 PM

    The thing I usually hear is that I am going to regret it. Well, maybe but I can assure anybody that I would regret the pain, insult, cruelty, and gaslighting of having a relationship far more. In fact, what I really regret is that I did not run away from home as a child rather than live with the character assassination and neglect that I did as it severely damaged my beliefs about myself for many years into adulthood. But a child blames themselves for being unlovable so how could I see what my parent was doing to me? But as an adult, when I saw it, I did the healthy thing and removed myself from the abuse. So to ask me if I won’t regret saving myself from that is pretty ridiculous.

    • Reply anonymous March 6, 2016 at 12:48 PM

      isn’t it insane when you just look back into how much hesitation you had at making the decision, how difficult it was to look into a future where leaving is good, FINALLY taking up the courage to do it… then looking back and thinking: “Why the hell did I hesitate, this was clearly the right choice”

      you know, that transition… once you finally just get to the other side of it, you’re like: “wow, that was NOT healthy. THIS is healthy”

      I hope I’m making sense

  • Reply anonymous March 6, 2016 at 12:42 PM

    This is crazy, I thought I was the only one estranged from my parents.
    I thought I was gonna like spend the rest of my live alone and misunderstood. This is brilliant.
    How stupid of me…

    this really hits home

  • Reply Glad I'm not alone April 1, 2016 at 1:21 PM

    I am estranged from my father, too. My mother is dead. Unfortunately, I have also distanced myself from all the rest of our family and friends in order to maintain the distance from my father. It is hard enough, without other people’s judgements. It is hard to let others get close, because that means eventually they find out about the situation, and then start casting judgements and trying to convince me I’m wrong and I have to justify myself all over again, when it’s not their business, and it is re-traumatizing to have to discuss personal matters with them and be on trial, on top of the ordinary stress/guilt/confusion I can feel sometimes, and which I know I will always have. I hope this doesn’t turn me into a hermit. I have noticed it tends to be people of the generation older than me that do this. By my own choice and desire, I am a devout Christian, so I also navigate how to honor my father rather than dishonor him, and what that means in the context of estrangement. Right now, I think that estrangement is the only thing that might force him (eventually, if ever) to view himself differently, seek therapy, find God, and change into a person with whom I can have a safe relationship without feeling like every meeting is a battle, without having to always be suspicious of stealth attacks. Without him poisoning my marriage, my new shot at happiness, and any possible children I might have, with his manipulation, his out-of-control behavior, and his disturbing perversity. The toxic, negative thoughts and feelings he has about me exist whether I am in contact with him or not, that much I already know from experience. I found a really interesting personal website about this if you ever want to check it out – I’ve been reading it all morning and it has helped:

    • Reply victoress August 12, 2017 at 5:23 PM

      It makes me really sick to hear about honoring our parents. What about the parents honoring their children? If Mary and Joseph hadn’t honored Jesus, we wouldn’t have a savior today. I refuse to ‘honor’ anyone who seeks to destroy me — parent or not.

  • Reply luvtheheaven June 21, 2016 at 7:48 AM

    Just wrote a new blog post about some of these feels. XD Already had written a lot: of other stuff about it too. I’m lucky enough to still want one of my parents in my life, so that means people don’t judge me in quite the same way as if I’d cut out both of them, but I respect, especially after reading tons of stuff on the Out of the Fog Forum and the Raised by Narcissists subreddit, that many people have had it even worse than me and have super valid reasons for cutting both of their parents out of their lives. 😛 This post made me really happy to read, because as a Glee fan um, all these Burt gifs were 100% SPOT ON and hilariously perfect and just… yeah. Almost all of this I relate to, in one way or another.

    Also “Glad I’m not alone” commented with a link to’s posts about estrangement and may I just say YES wow definitely read that. I highly recommend it.

  • Reply Anonymous July 7, 2016 at 1:35 AM

    Not all estrangements are a products of abuse or injury by ones parents. We did everything possible for our children, that was our mistake. Even after their marriage, we allowed them to live, as a couple, in a home we owned. They paid rent based on ability to pay. We covered all other expenses including utilities.
    Now She says we don’t support her. Well we did. Emotionally, financially, put a roof over their heads and furnished the home. We supported her marriage by giving them a wedding. When she her wedding dress arrived she cried and said she hated it, so we got her a custom gown. When she asked to move in after they were married, we welcomed the into our home. Later giving them the option to live there as a couple. They accepted and lived there for years.

    We supported her college education, flew her and her husband on vacations, and even supported his career.
    She asked for us to sell our home and relocate her 2700 miles away, we accommodated her wishes. Sold the home and relocated them, then said we forced her to do so.
    Recognizing our mistake was crucial in accepting her decision. Our mistake was enabling our children. It’s a sad and difficult process to accept that your child isn’t willing to engage unless they need something from you. Just as there are difficult, abusive parents, adult children can be so too. We don’t interfere with her life. We don’t speak ill of them. We also don’t want to be emotional dart boards either. We miss and love her, but know this is for the best.

    • Reply Cordelia August 12, 2016 at 3:54 PM

      Then this blog is not for you.

    • Reply unagargantacerrada August 26, 2016 at 7:56 AM

      So the mistake that you are “owning” is that it’s your childs’ fault. Hmmm. I see a certain pattern.

    • Reply kikified October 30, 2016 at 4:06 PM

      Uhm, this blog is probably not meant for you. It sounds like your daughter has some sort of disorder that probably should have been treated a long time ago- and spoiling her rotten probably didn’t help- like most people only dream of that kind of stuff.

      I never expected my parents to pay any of my college- I stumbled into a scholarship after much prayer (and a few thousand dollars debt for the college I’d already paid for). Then my mother emotionally manipulated me by telling me I’d be emotionally traumatizing my younger sisters and abandoning the family. Then she made me promise not to see if my credits would transfer and used Christianity against me like only a true crazy person would. My credits did not transfer, I lost my scholarship and fell into deep depression. Before we moved, I had offered to pay rent many times as I was making about $400 weekly and had my own room but my parents always refused because I spent so much money on my younger sisters and brothers. Once we moved and I was crying myself to sleep every night on a couch since we moved to a house with less bedrooms, my mom constantly harassed me for rent even though I was making less than $400 every two weeks and barely that. Then both my parents harassed and would say things like they liked me better before we moved and encourage my siblings to say these things to me. Then to boot, they would say that I could have stayed behind- they would have helped me– after they had already clearly expressed they would NOT. Then my mother told me I should just go back and get that scholarship again as if scholarships just WAIT around for people.

      Finally at my breaking point after several years of this and trying to move out only to be yelled and screamed at by mother for trying to abandon her (as if I were some husband and as if she didn’t have one!). I finally left became more depressed finally tried to connect with my parents and express some of the suicidal thoughts I’d been having (for years even prior to the move but they worsened severely after). Their response was that it had been such a distraction from work and what would I have done for them if I had caused them to lose their jobs. So I didn’t speak to them for almost two years. And not ONE time in those two years did either one of them even TRY to contact me, not once. I really could have been dead and they wouldn’t have known. But I’m sure they always play the poor rejected parents at church, a place I will never go to again because of them. We only speak now because I reached out to them- I called them. Because I missed having a relationship with my siblings and, of course, once I cut my parents out, my siblings were no longer allowed to contact me.

      My father was in the military and we moved many times even half way through my senior year of high school and that was tough- but my mom had promised up and down it would be the last move, we would settle and I could finish college. And more promises and more promises, none ever kept. It’s like I’m not really a human to them, just some play thing for the family to help out like that’s my reason for being. And, you know, I was never upset about any of those other moves just when it affected my entire future and financial well-being. The worst part isn’t even that it happened. The worst part is my parents literally do not care. They’ve said as much so many times and instead of support when depressed just constantly putting me down. I’ve developed clinical depression, diagnosed from three different therapists and take meds for it. I’ve always had OCD and anxiety, something my mother never allowed me to get help for. I was finally able to get help for it.

      Now I just have some weird quasi relationship with my parents that triggers my depressive episodes every time I speak with them.

      Anyway, I say all this to say that clearly not every parent is at fault but neither is every estranged adult “child.” I mean my parents have only paid for one thing and that was a $5,000 used car they put on credit and later tried to blame me for being over $75,000 in credit card debt because they bought me a car (that I had to make monthly payments to them on, how twisted is that). Some of us actually have a GOOD reason not to be in contact much or at all with our parents. Honestly, I don’t know what you or your husband were thinking, it’s really like you two caved in to her every desire. I don’t know, I’d be interested to hear her side but she sounds really a little far out there sorry to say. There’s quite a few blogs/forums out there for “rejected parents”– there’s actually a LOT more of those than these type of blogs.

      Sorry for typos.

  • Reply Missy August 12, 2016 at 3:19 PM

    I’m doing this to my adult children. They’re horrible. So there’s two sides. And leaving my money to strangers. And won’t have to pay for their weddings, gifts, trips, etc… And I’m not sorry because I was a great mother and they’re toxic. And no I’m not responsible for their behavior antmore than they’re responsible for mine. That’s 100% them.

    • Reply Cordelia August 12, 2016 at 3:52 PM

      Then this blog is not for you.

  • Reply cindy holm September 27, 2016 at 3:44 PM

    My mother was and is severely mentally ill. She had a cruel mouth, she was physically abusive, she chose a man over me, had kids with him & I had to watch them get treated like special little snowflakes. She would say things to make me cry then mimic me and laugh. What kind of mother does these things? Also, she slept with my high school boyfriend. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back for me. Getting away from her 25 years ago was the best decision I have ever made. I do not want to see her face ever again.

  • Reply C September 27, 2016 at 5:35 PM

    My entire childhood was wasted on my mother’s foolishness and poor choices. I was saddled with an unwanted, abusive stepfather & unwanted half siblings. She made it painfully clear every day that I was the least important person in her life. I spent my childhood feeling bad about myself every single day. I can never get that time back and I hate her for it.

    • Reply victoress August 12, 2017 at 5:29 PM

      Good for you. Unfortunately, it took me 51 freaking years to finally go No Contact. I’ll regret that for the rest of my life. I wasted so many years being abused by this bully and my entire narcissistic family.

  • Reply TS January 12, 2017 at 10:31 AM

    Sometimes estrangement best. All my efforts to please her were met with distain.  I was never good enough for her.  She acted like I embarrassed her.  Her constant rejection was damaging to me ego.  I think she even felt a little bad about being mean to me, so she usually tried to keep me as separated as possible.  She wouldn’t tell me things, lied, and kept secrets, which made me feel like she thought I was an idiot as well as she was rejecting me.  But whenever she needed me, she’d put on an act and tell me I was the best just so I would do what she wanted me to do.  Our relationship was always all about her.  She would keep me around when it pleased her, and ignore or reject me when it suited her.    I’ve tried my best to have a relationship with her, but she won’t  speak to me about our issues.  It hurts, but I’m not up to more mental abuse.

  • Reply ......... March 7, 2017 at 9:53 AM

    I am thinking of breaking contact with my family, the only thing keeping me from doing to
    is that i still live with them and don’t have a stable income to move out.

    Any tips?

  • Reply Anonymous March 23, 2017 at 10:07 PM

    I wished that I never let my relationship with my parents go. Though they r both long deceased many years now. Looking back all our issues were meaningless when you realize your family is gone forever. Noone will ever know u or witness ur life like them ever again. I regret my impulsive choices and would give anything to speak to my parents and tell them about their beautiful grandchildren,my babies,who I named in honor of them. I never got a chance to make peace with them. Try not to burn ur bridges. I’ve been there, it’s ultimately not worth it. Regret is a heavy burden to bear.My mom would laugh at this,but she was right about many things. It’s taken me my whole life to say that. I wish I would have listened to them maybe my life wouldn’t have been so hard

    • Reply luvtheheaven March 24, 2017 at 7:06 AM

      Hey Anonymous. Did you even read #s 3, 5, 6, 8… Even 9? This is not the right post for that comment. Write your own blog post if you want to talk about your regrets of you can’t find a similar blog post to comment on but this one telling a person they’re gonna regret their choice is extremely tone-deaf, self centered, rude, and unnecessary. Just because you think your mom was right about many things doesn’t mean all moms are like yours was. Many parents are not worth having in your life. I can promise you we aren’t naming children after these abusive, horrible people. In fact, I’m more likely to be triggered by my mom’s first name and would prefer to never hear it again.

      • Reply Maja May 10, 2017 at 2:12 PM

        I keep reminding myself that having regrets in these matters where we are not at fault are only for people who have an exact knowledge of the alternative timeline where we aren’t estranged; ergo nobody. I have replayed everything in my mind several times to see whether I could have done something different so that my parents wouldn’t have broken into my home, changed the locks, kept my belongings hostage while I was away house-hunting to get away from the toxic family estate.

        Ultimately it was my parents’ choice to bring me and my younger brother into this world, not mine.

        If anyone should feel regret, it is most often the parents. They are much closer to assume the blame, because they made the active choice to bring a child into this world and the parents are always responsible and in charge of the entire life of the child until they are of legal age. As the years pass, it is easy to forget the immense pain that lead to the break. It is good, but it mustn’t ever betray us into thinking we should regret our choice.

  • Reply dancingshadowblog August 23, 2017 at 7:27 PM

    My mother did a very good job raising me and my brother for 90% of the time. I can’t take away that. However, when it came time for an asswhoopin due to me acting up, she either didnt know when to stop or used too agressive means for a child. I grew up in a community where a child getting his or her ass whooped with a belt was common and socially acceptable. However, most of those paremts only hit their kid 10 times MAX and didnt throw their entire life hatred into those swings. She would hit me so hard and so many times that the welps would bleed.

    Later when I became an adult I joined the Navy at 19. Everything was fine since I was so far away from her and we maintained a stable relationship. However when I returned at age 24, things went down the drain. She refused to accept the fact that I was 24 and that I didnt need her to constantly dictate things I do. It was over stupid $#!% to. “Reminding” me to put my shoes on when I leave the house, constantly insisting I wear a jacket if it feels to cool for HER, telling me to turn off the stove when Im done cooking, how to use a sponge when washing the dishes. Like I havent done all of this and then some while Im an adult. I vaccinated hundreds of people, took blood samples, counseled people after informing them of their STD status, inspected Naval ships and Submerine medical records, assisted in testing water samples from the new Naval hospital to make sure all water sources had potable water, inspected all food establishments on all Naval and Marine bases, etc, but I can’t be trusted to put my $#@!%& shoes on before I leave the house?

    So when I told her that I didnt need her to baby me like that, she would get mad and claim that I telling her to stop being a parent. No, Im telling you to have confidence in your ability in raising me when I was a child and to trust that I can do things that normal healthy adults can do. What broke the camel’s back was when my brother had a wreck and she wanted to drive from Texas to Louisiana to see in him the hospital. I told her that I would go with her because she worked a 12 hour night shift and needed proper sleep while I drive. Of course I dropped everything I had planned that weekend in order to make sure she got there safely and to make sure my brother was okay.

    We get there and he is awake and recovering in the hospital bed. After being there for a few hours we decided to go to the grocery store and get some food for him since he couldnt drive and may need something. At the store, she started getting cleaning materials and I asked her why. She said we are going to clean his place before he returned home. Now my brother is a slob. Im talking showers once every 3 weeks, rarely washes his clothes, and leaves food out type of slob. I told her that I would not be cleaning his house and she said okay.

    We get to his home and, like I guessed, it was horrible. It was a like a dumpster, Satan, and a gas station bathroom had a orgy, left the mess to fermit in the Sun on the side of the road for months, and some poor street sweeper truck sucked it up before depositing the load in his house. I have never smelled something that literally wanted to make me vomite until I walked in this house to set the groceries down. I immediately left and started to dry heave. My mother told me to come back in and start cleaning. I told her that I wasnt gunna do it. She got mad and started yelling at me to get in there and clean. I said that I already told her no and I wasnt gunna do it. She claimed that I wanted to be a nurse so how could I let a patient come home to a place like this. I told her that no nurse is gunna leave their nob and clean every patient’s house. After some back and forth she told me to leave.

    Just gunna fastforward since this is getting long. She later claimed I was being selfish for not cleaning his home. How the $#@% am I selfish when I dropped everything to make sure you got from Texas to Butt $#@% Nowhere, Louisiana, made sure my brother was okay, and even helped shop for food? That was a %$#& 8 hour drive, but Im still selfish because I said no to ONE thing? I did not talk to her for a week when we got back to Texas.

    She called me 2 days before Mother’s Day. She knew I was mad because I was giving short answers the regular conversation so she said that we needed to talk about it. She went first and was saying I was, again, being selfish for not cleaning his apartment. Oh my Go- I blew up. I yelled at her for DAIRING to call me selfish after ALL the $#!% I went through. I ended up hanging up on her. After an hour, the abuse from those asswhoopins started flooding in. I wanted to have children one day. I feared that my children would lose their mother because I ended up killing my mom if she abused my children. Our relationship could not be repaired. I knew it couldn’t because she wanted me to bend to her will all the time everytime and I wouldn’t. Plus the hatred of remember the abuse could not leave me. I disowned her through text. She called me a selfish child before I blocked her.

    Some may ask why I maintained a relationship with her afyer moving out and joining the Navy if she abused me. I thought it was normal growing up. Especially since she was still a good mother to me outside of the asswhoopins. When I became an adult, I never thought about it until I was around 23, but it took me a while to realise that parents shouldnt hit their kids like THAT. It was when I was back home and would visit my mother that I fully realise that I was abused, but I never confronted her about it until she comtacted me a year later. Im a firm believer that bad children should get an asswhoopin when no other means work, however, I will never throw hatred into my hits, I will never hit my children 20 – 40 times, I will never curse at them while I whoop them, and I will ALWAYS remind them that I love them afterwords. She tried to make excuses and claim I was a difficult child. Tried to divert it onto me. I knew then that she isnt sorry for what she did. We yelled at eachother and she hung up on me before cursing me out through text message. I called her a cunt, told her that she would NEVER see her grandchildren, and said that she will die alone in that house of hers since all of her family lives in Arkansa and Louisiana before blocking her.

    Im now 25 about to be 26 soon. I have no regrets.

  • Reply CW1996 November 28, 2017 at 7:05 AM

    I really don’t know how to handle it. I love my parents and they have provided financially, but it seems they always put me down. Whenever I messed up as a kid they would freak out on me, and I mean really freak out. My mom would call me ungrateful, disrespectful, narcissistic, and selfish. I would do my best to make sure that I wasn’t this kind of person, I never understood why my mom would always tell me these kinds of things. I suffered some really tough depression when I was a kid when I had my first girlfriend. I confided in her because I couldn’t go to my parents. My parents always judged me. My parents responded by saying I was lazy and all I do is hangout in the basement doing nothing. I was 15 when this happened. They dragged me out of my room and threw me in the car without shoes on to take me to the hospital because I was getting suicidal. I had no one to talk to and people were actually making fun of me because of my depression.

    I understand that I didn’t have it as terrible as others but my mom and my dad would gang up on me and just tear me apart. I couldn’t even plea my case because they would shut me down the moment I started talking. I learned to just be silent, they have called me an ass, narcissistic, and my mom said that I am one of the guys that she would tell her girl friends to stay away from. My parents have yelled at me for having one single towel on the bathroom floor infront of a friend that came over for the first time. I was late 12 minutes for my curfew because I was just running late and my parents literally said, “I hope those 12 minutes were worth it because we are going to think of a really good punishment for you.” I even got grounded for leaving no kidding 3 pieces of laundry on my floor when I was running late for a football parade.

    When I was in an unhealthy relationship in high school I ended it because I was under a tremendous amount of stress. So I cut it off. My parents wouldn’t let it go. They told me that I had to of cheated on my girlfriend because I was talking to another girl a few weeks after the break up. They forced me into taking a love and respect class with my ex with the sole purpose of getting us back together. The new girl that I was just started talking to, we were just friends at the time and they wouldn’t even let her come over to the house. They told me multiple times that she has to be a rebound, but I actually ended up marrying her. They ganged up on me for the things that happened in my relationship and never even listened to their own son.

    They eventually kicked me out with 300 dollars to my name at 19 years old, I was still going to school. I took the community college route (I have my associates and currently at Ohio University), but I was thrown off guard. I understand that they didn’t like having girls in the house with me alone but I asked if I could have an exception since my sisters were going to be home in ten minutes. Then my mom yelled at me, “No! I don’t even understand why you are asking me that question! You know the rules use your head!” I then responded in frustration that’s why I am moving out at the end of the year. Then they kicked me out for that comment, in July. I wasn’t even ready to move out. They mentioned they did that so I would come crawling back to them. However, I didn’t and now I am better for it.

    Two weekends ago I actually got into a fight with my Dad. My sister has a major attitude issue but she can get away with it because she’s 16 per my parents, crazy she can drive 65 miles an hour into someone and kill them but she’s not old enough to control her attitude. I told her that she was parked infront of a fire hydrant and she’ll want to make sure she moves because the neighbors have called the cops previously about it. She responded with, “Yeah? Who cares, you’re the only one making a big deal about it.” I was holding in my anger and then I just said, “fine I’ll just call the cops then.” Then she said do it. So I did, but I hung up before I thought it connected. However, the cops called me back and I said, “sorry someone was parked in a really bad spot and they have already moved.” I didn’t want to get my sister in trouble but I just wanted to scare her. The dispatcher said that’s okay they’ll chalk it up as a missed dial and no one will head out there. Then my mom came up to me and started ripping into me. Being the adult I am now I said, “I am not talking to you about this, and it’s done and over with there is nothing to worry about.” Then my mom said that I needed to leave my grandmas house, because we were having Thanksgiving. I said that I wasn’t leaving and continued like normal. Then she came up to me and said, “you know I can call the cops and get you removed.” Then I said, “do it, im not doing anything to warrant a removal.” Then my dad shows up and yells for me to come talk to him in the other room. So I go in there and the first thing he does is shoves me, I shove him back and tell him not to touch me. Then he full boar comes at me and we get into a little fight until my uncle splits us up.

    I seriously want nothing to do with them, but it just sucks knowing your parents are like this and you can’t do anything about it.

  • Reply Safe Space Post December 6, 2017 at 12:42 AM

    Society as a whole will not understand middle class sufferers of NPD and alcoholism. Money is used as a weapon, and siblings are pitted against one another. I finally ended contact 3 years ago at age 44. Best decision I’ve made so far. I finally have the self esteem required to have a career, a marriage and “normalcy”. When I left home at 17 years ago, even the “hero/golden child” and the “overachiever” siblings became their next targets. My mother tried to ruin my brothers marriage, and spoke of him like a monster. Don’t give in to feelings of inadequacy and abandonment. Destructiive people need victims to prey upon – do yourself a favor and make a new life for yourself as soon as you can. No one owes an abusive relative a damn thing. It’s far too complex for a short blurb, just trust your instincts. If you are filled with dread, something is wrong.

    • Reply Safe Space Post December 6, 2017 at 12:43 AM

      I needed a comma in there.. I left at 17 years old, many years ago…

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