How to Have an Orphan Christmas

December 27, 2014


This year I had an awesome Friendsgiving with a big group of friends, a huge turkey, and tons of sides and games. Some of those same friends are sticking around town to throw a Friendsmas, where there will be more food and games.

These are the ideal Christmas celebrations for orphans, at least for an extrovert like me.

For everyone who can’t afford to drive home to their families; everyone who wants to avoid uncomfortable conversations with their parents over Ferguson and gay marriage; everyone who just doesn’t want to deal with ignorance of dietary restrictions; all the stragglers come together for one big meal.

Orphan Survival Guide - How to Have an Orphan Christmas

1. Make a Plan

Where are you going, who will be there, and what are you going to do? Make a fancy invite or just use Facebook so everyone knows when and where they need to be, and what to bring before the thing happens.

And if they bail on you, have a good backup plan like Netflix and Chinese delivery.

Make sure your plan is solid, so that your friends have fewer excuses to bail on you at the last second, leaving you alone with their cats and a bottle of gin. Not that any of my friends did this to me this year because they would never, right?

2. Invite Some Friends

What’s a Friendsmas without friends?!

3. Clean Your House

I swept up and cleaned the cat boxes yesterday. I’ve still got some dishes to do tonight because I cleaned out my fridge (I’m really bad at leftovers) but those can always wait.

As long as people have places to sit and it doesn’t smell like vomit or cat pee, you’re probably good.

Febreze and air fresheners are your friends. I like the ones that smell like Christmas trees. There are always printable coupons online through Coupons.com, Target, and Walmart if you don’t feel like paying $4 to make your house smell less like butt.

4a. Dress Fancy

It’s a party! Dress up!

4b. Or Wear Pajamas

Why bother putting on pants? You’ve got no one to impress.

4c. Find Some “Ugly” Christmas Sweaters

Ugly Sweater Parties are all the rage this year. I, however, do not find them ugly at all.

5. Make Sure There’s Food

Ham and cookies are staples for Christmas dinners, but don’t let tradition keep you from making something interesting and tasty like:

6. Bring on the Booze

It’s Christmas. You’re probably suffering through at least three friends Snapchatting you all of their parents’ expensive gifts while you open bargain bin Hallmark cards.

Trust me, no one’s gonna judge you for drinking those five mimosas.

7. Give (and Receive!) Presents

Everyone else is getting a buttload of presents, so why shouldn’t you? In your Plan, set a theme or a limit for presents so that no one goes overboard or feels left out. Easy and cheap gift ideas:

8. Keep People Entertained

Watch a movie, play some games, or even make Christmas crafts.

9. Tell Stories

There’s a reason you’re all coming together for an Orphan Christmas instead of spending time with “family” like everyone else is. Go ahead and let out all those feelings with people who understand.

10. Start New Holiday Traditions

Start making your holiday plans for next year! I already have Friendsgiving plans for next November; there’s no reason to not start planning early for next Christmas!

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