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anxiety

feels, orphan problems, personal

Depression for Extroverts

October 8, 2015

orphan survival guide - depression and college - life is pointless and nothing matters

I have major depression.

The smallest thing can set it off–and there are a thousand smallest things when you’re in college. Professors who won’t make accommodations for your work schedule, bad feedback on a paper you worked really hard on, finding the sidewalk in front of your class blocked by homecoming stages, your crazy neighbor’s cats picking fights with your cats…

Depression isn’t rational.

Most of the time, the things that set it off don’t make sense or they’re not a “good enough” reason to be depressed.

Depression isn’t just being sad for no reason.

Irritability, apathy, hopelessness, exhaustion… it comes in so many forms. It’s anxiety and perfectionism over minute details that keep you from finishing anything. It’s wanting to do nothing but lay in bed all day. It’s composing dozens of angry emails to your asshole professor that you’ll never send.

It’s being sad and then getting frustrated because you don’t know why you’re sad.

It’s keeping everything bottled up inside because you’ve created a reliable, stable, happy persona. It’s people saying, “But you seem so happy!” and “Considering your childhood, I’m amazed that you’re so functional!” when you feel like setting up permanent residence in bed.

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