Browsing Tag

estrangement

feels, orphan problems, personal

Depression for Extroverts

October 8, 2015

orphan survival guide - depression and college - life is pointless and nothing matters

I have major depression.

The smallest thing can set it off–and there are a thousand smallest things when you’re in college. Professors who won’t make accommodations for your work schedule, bad feedback on a paper you worked really hard on, finding the sidewalk in front of your class blocked by homecoming stages, your crazy neighbor’s cats picking fights with your cats…

Depression isn’t rational.

Most of the time, the things that set it off don’t make sense or they’re not a “good enough” reason to be depressed.

Depression isn’t just being sad for no reason.

Irritability, apathy, hopelessness, exhaustion… it comes in so many forms. It’s anxiety and perfectionism over minute details that keep you from finishing anything. It’s wanting to do nothing but lay in bed all day. It’s composing dozens of angry emails to your asshole professor that you’ll never send.

It’s being sad and then getting frustrated because you don’t know why you’re sad.

It’s keeping everything bottled up inside because you’ve created a reliable, stable, happy persona. It’s people saying, “But you seem so happy!” and “Considering your childhood, I’m amazed that you’re so functional!” when you feel like setting up permanent residence in bed.

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free stuff, moving, orphan problems, personal, resources

How To Run Away From Home: After

July 3, 2015

orphan survival guide - social media - how to run away from home- after

When thinking about the resources and support network you need, consider these three basic things:

  1. Where can I go?
  2. What do I need?
  3. Who can and will help?

In the last post, I covered what all you need to bring or consider when preparing to leave. Now, have a big list of places and people who can help you once you’re out.

Who Can Help?

What kind of things do you need on your Bug-Out Bag info list? Think about what you’ll need once you’re on your own. Money, food, housing, medical care, emotional support…

Keep a list of all of the people and places that can give you that so you know where to go in the middle of the night. These can be:

  • friends
  • family members of friends
  • your own sympathetic family members
  • social services/child protective services
  • the police
  • hotlines
  • domestic violence centers
  • shelters
  • food banks
  • employment offices
  • clinics
  • college financial aid offices
  • the library, which can put you in touch with all of the above

Seriously, I cannot emphasize the last one enough. Your local public or school library has so many regional-specific resources available for you if you just ask. If nothing else, the library is a good place to stay during the day when you have nowhere else to go.

How To Run Away From Home

  1. Intro: How To Run Away From Home
  2. Before: Planning & Preparation
  3. After: Resources & What’s Next

A version of this series was originally posted on the Orphan Survival Guide Tumblr.

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human interaction, moving, orphan problems, personal, resources

How To Run Away From Home: Before

July 1, 2015

orphan survival guide - social media - how to run away from home planning and packing

While actually running away from home is often a heat-of-the-moment decision, it doesn’t happen in a vacuum. Rarely do kids or young adults run away from home the very first time the thought enters their mind. It was something I considered time and time again before it was finally a reality.

Whether you’re giving your home life second, third, or fiftieth chances before hitting your limit, or busting out after yet another bad fight, if you’re truly committed to getting out, you need a plan.

Where are you going? Who can help you? What do you need?

Not only do you need to pack a bug-out bag with some or all of your life necessities, but you need to be emotionally prepared for the fallout.

Today’s post is about working out your plan to pack your bags and leave.

How To Run Away From Home

  1. Intro: How To Run Away From Home
  2. Before: Planning & Preparation
  3. After: Resources & What’s Next

A version of this series was originally posted on the Orphan Survival Guide Tumblr.

Continue Reading…

human interaction, orphan problems, personal

10 Things Estranged Adult Children Are Tired of Hearing

June 23, 2015

orphan survival guide - social media - 10 things estranged adult children are tired of hearing

Following a particularly awkward Father’s Day on social media which culminated in lots of Glee feels and multiple people blocked on Facebook, a lot of acquaintances learned about my relationship with my biological family.

The short version is: we have no relationship.

The longer version will be detailed in a series next week about how to run away from home.

There are a lot of misconceptions about estranged adult children, which means that the second you tell someone you have no contact with your parents, you need to be prepared for awkward questions and nagging–especially from other parents. Other parents are The Worst. They get crazy-defensive because your existence reminds them that they ultimately have no control or power over their own children, and that is terrifying to them.

For the most part, though, you get a lot of uncomfortable silences and pitying glances, because suddenly your Issues are so much more than someone initially assumed. You might even become Inspiration Porn. Then there are the people who think that you’re exaggerating or selfish–or blame you for the estrangement–because family is family

And don’t even think about mentioning it on your dating profile or on a date, because then you’re branded with Daddy Issues.

It’s an uncomfortable and stigma-ridden conversation, and even if you try to turn it into a joke (my family’s sooo crazy!) people will inevitably treat you differently for it. So here are the top 10 things estranged adult children are sick and tired of hearing, courtesy of Burt Hummel, your TV replacement dad:

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